“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.”
– Henry David Thoreau
This was my senior quote. It meant a lot to me, as I moved on from one place in the world to another, a place fraught with expectations, hopes, desires, and most scary of all–change. I had gotten comfortable in my small high school of 300, and a class of 30 that had morphed over the years but seemingly, on the outside at least, remained unchanged. Excitement was a familiar emotion as my senior year neared its end, though this sensation was often accompanied by anxiety, and honestly, even a little splash of dread. Everyone had their own idea of what I–a high school graduate–should do with my “new” future.
‘Go to college right out of high school, or you’ll never go back,’ they’d say, as if they knew exactly what my ambitions were, ‘You’ll regret waiting.’
Okay, so waiting isn’t always the best strategy–after all, life doesn’t just wait around for you to decide to jump on board. But it was my choice, and they had to respect me for it. I just had one of those gut feelings that I wasn’t meant to go back to school, at least not yet. So, with an uneasy feeling of being strangely without direction, I watched as several people from my class flouted my idea of taking time off and sprouted in every direction–George Fox, Northwestern, Hopkins, and some other schmanzy schools. I don’t know how many times I was asked what my plans for my future were, and each time I would cringe more and more at the question. How exactly, does one map out something that’s supposedly so unpredictable? Apparently that’s what I was expected to do. The reactions varied from person to person–the college students thought it was smart to take a year or two to get my bearings because they had made the ‘mistake’ of not taking a break, while the inexperienced and the older people I talked to thought I was wrong. So who was right in the end? Well, my thoughts are that you have a lot of time to learn, and only a limited window to travel and experience once-in a lifetime opportunities.
Now, I have the opportunity to do what every graduated student–whether it be high school or college–should do: travel. In December, when everyone who told me i was making a mistake are going to be freaking out over exams, I will be flying to Cali for some fun in the sun. Then, after a short trip to Mexico, I will be driving with a good friend–who is a model and soon-to-be fashion designer–back to Montana, taking the scenic route–through the Red Woods, taking a ferry to Vancouver, Canada, seeing the Butchart Gardents…not so bad of decision after all, wouldn’t you say?
My point is, don’t let people tell you what is good for you, especially when your heart is dead-set against it. I realized that fearing the future wasn’t going to make it better, make it mine. It shouldn’t matter what I might face, because I knew I had to make it. I knew I could beat it. You never know what might surprise you when you just don’t force it–and really, you do have what it takes, if only you give it a little time, and a lot of patience.
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